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12 Tips For Men On How To Build Confidence

Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash

There is something so alluring about confidence that drives us to poised individuals. How you stand, walk, and talk not only helps you be taken more seriously, it also has an actual effect on how others are drawn to you.

– Caleb Backe | mapleholistics.com

#1 Get out more

Take a day trip, visit a new gallery or museum, travel to a new city or a foreign country, but get out from behind the screen and interact in the real world. Not only will you gain experience, you will meet and interact with new people, maybe learn something new, and when someone asks you What did you do this weekend? you have an experience to share.

Contributor: Michael Satterfield

Company: thegentlemanracer.com

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#2 Stand tall

Studies have shown that posture has a tremendous effect on how others view us and how we view ourselves. Just think about what kind of people you associate with slouching. Poor posture, especially slouching, is a surefire way to be viewed as lazy and unmotivated, and who wants to associate with that type of person.

This is why I recommend simple posture exercises which will enable you to sit up straight and stand tall, ultimately boosting your image and overall confidence. By simply standing straight and looking engaged during your everyday activities, you’ll see a major improvement in your daily interactions and overall self-image.

Contributor: Caleb Backe

Company: mapleholistics.com

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#3 Face your fears

The more you are able to confront and face your fears you will increase in confidence. Why? Because fears are what make you insecure. If you are afraid of getting rejected by a girl if you ask her out that is totally normal. BUT if you let that fear stop you from taking action that is insecurity. So, if you face your fears you will fight insecurity on many levels and grow in confidence. 

Contributor: Timothy Wenger

Related Article: 15 Ways You Can Become More Confident As A Man.

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#4 Do the hard things

There are many things in life that we know we should do but we tend to avoid them. This is totally normal. BUT if you are wanting to grow and increase in confidence I encourage you to push yourself to do the hard things as much as possible. Why? Because the more difficult of things you overcome you will realize your capabilities and grow in self-confidence.

Contributor: Timothy Wenger

Company: themaneffect.com

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#5 Don't over analyze an issue

Don't over analyze an issue that needs to be resolved and or a task that needs to be completed; JUMP IN! Learn the ropes.

Contributor: Ernest Allen

Company: atlasprotraining.com

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#6 Make mistakes

Learning from mistakes builds confidence and gives you the blueprint to success, ONLY if you learn from those mistakes.

Contributor: Ernest Allen

Company: atlasprotraining.com

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#7 Take care of your personal appearance

A shower and a shave go a long way! Go work out! Start a training regiment. Start with just one day a week; join a gym community. 

Contributor: Ernest Allen

Company: atlasprotraining.com

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#8 Meditation and positive self-affirmations

Meditate and commit to positive self-affirmations and self-talk. This will lead to a positive environment in your mind, which is crucial to improving your behavior in regards to how you treat yourself.

Contributor: Ernest Allen

Company: atlasprotraining.com

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#9 Get healthy

Everyone says it, but it is 100% true, if you feel better about yourself, your health, your ability to keep up and perform better, you will feel more confident. 

Contributor: Michael Satterfield

Company: thegentlemanracer.com

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#10 Read more books

Try to broaden your horizons by reading more and reading about a variety of subjects. Nothing is more of a confidence booster than being able to keep up with a conversation because you are informed. Plus you benefit by expanding your vocabulary, you'll have the ability to have better conversations, and better connect with others. 

Looking for more books to read? Check out this article: The 18 Books Every Young Man Should Read At Least Once In Their Life

Contributor: Michael Satterfield

Company: thegentlemanracer.com

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#11 The right amount of self-confidence

Self-confidence, like self-esteem, is a Goldilocks problem. Too little is bad, but so is too much. You want to have the amount that is just right. It is the same for women and for men.

I explain this in my book Don't Feed the Narcissists! The Mythology and Science of Mental Health:

The best way to get the just-right amount of self-esteem is to seek out guidance from people whose advice is worth taking. The best way to develop the just-right amount of self-confidence is to have the just-right amount of self-esteem and to know how to manage irrational fear.

The best way to learn how to manage fear is to get good at analyzing risks, and then to practice facing the things that are not as dangerous as you feel that they are.

Our emotions are feelings that help to guide our behavior. Fear is the feeling that you get when you think that your body or your feelings might get hurt. A phobia is an irrational fear. It means that you have a lot of fear about something that poses little or no real danger. As a result, the phobia can shape your behavior in dysfunctional ways. By learning to face scary things, you develop courage, which means the ability to do what you must, even though you feel fear.

I have worked as an editor in medical and academic publishing for 30 years. As a result, I have edited many books and journals about medicine, psychology, psychiatry, and education. I have also sailed to Bermuda and up and down the East Coast of the United States and to the Caribbean in a 35-foot fiberglass boat. So I know something about how to manage fear.

Contributor: Laurie Endicott Thomas, MA, ELS

Company: nottrivialbook.com

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#12 Practice daily some form of self improvement

One of my favorite ways to boost confidence is a daily practice of some form of self-improvement. This has most commonly been exercise for me.

Daily exercise improves mood, sleep, and self-esteem. I also believe that training the mind with mindful meditation might be even more important. Meditation allows for not getting caught up in negative and self-critical thinking.

Here is a list of what I believe is important for becoming your best most confident self:

  1. Mindful meditation to decrease self-critical thinking
  2. Exercise
  3. Practice cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to counteract dysfunctional negative thoughts
  4. Seek out things that cause fear and attempt to overcome them. For example: strike up a friendly conversation with a stranger
  5. Increase the number of daily interactions with people.
  6. Spend time with friends and family
  7. Finally, spend time trying to find your purpose. As psychologist and concentration camp survivor Viktor Frankl said “those who have a “why” to live can bear almost any how.

Contributor: Dr. Michael Mulick | Twitter

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