Nothing takes over our mind in the wake of a breakup like the stories we tell ourselves. Of course these stories are rarely empowering and, more often than not, they are far from true. This is because our pain and suspicion, and sometimes even our vengeance, exacerbates grief’s ugliest emotions. As a result, we turn on ourselves in our mind. Then, in an effort to gain control over ourselves and that which devastates us, we put ourselves at the center of all blame. The harm is, going there won’t save your relationship, foster a new one, or remind you that who you are is enough to love.
This is why you need to surround yourself with a fresh pile of books. Changing the way you think about yourself, others, and your life is a lifelong project that you have to engage in every day. In time you won’t even realize you’re doing it, but initially it will hurt and challenge you. Reading, however, will make the process not only more enjoyable but easier as it will pour new thoughts into your mind and show you new ways to think about yourself and your circumstances, the relationships you lose and the love you gain, and your world.
Contributors: Chelsea Leigh Trescott from Thank You Heartbreak