If you plan to stay with your partner (2/12)

If you’ve been cheated on and you plan to stay with your partner and work on the relationship, give yourself permission to really express what you feel — whether its anger, grief, anguish, fear or abandonment, you get to speak up and be heard without reaction or excuses from your partner.

Tell them to step back and just listen until you decide what you need to move forward. Make a plan and include a loose timeline; there will need to be a time when you stop referring back to the incident as a weapon in upcoming fights and arguments, but you should also have permission to talk about how it makes you feel moving forward (e.g. ask for reassurance as often and for as long as you need to).

You may not need months of counselling (each person is different), but set up at least one session with a professional who can help to set you on the right track. If you don’t prioritize this then you’re really not prioritizing the relationship.

Contributors: Jess O’Reilly from Astroglide