Ben Skute
If you’ve developed feelings for your best friend or just want to make them feel appreciated, here is how to tell them you love them…
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#1 Pretend to Be Someone Else
Personally, I am terrified of the vulnerability that comes with revealing my true feelings. As my father used to say: Never tell anyone how you really feel. Now scrub harder on that rear bumper, but don't scratch the paint. That's why to tell my best friend that I love him, I told him under the guise of another identity. The process is simple. First, get access to the phone or a social media account of someone that openly loves your best friend. In my case, I borrowed my best friend's girlfriend's phone while she wasn't looking, but it would have been just as easy to hack into her Facebook account (password: samlovestyler). Then, send a message of love to your best friend while pretending to be that other person. You'll finally be able to come clean, and your best friend won't suspect a thing!
Contributors: Jordan Thomas Gray from Liquid Social
#2 Be there for them
As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. If you want to prove to your best friend that you love them, you've got to show them. Try spending quality time with your best friend and ask them how their day is. Listen to what they're saying carefully. If they talk about something positive that happened to them, then commend them for it. If they mention something negative, try to understand the root of the problem and give them solutions to solve the problem.
Contributors: Dresean from KiwiSearches
#3 Just say it
The first time I blurted out I love you to a male friend who is in his 80's, I shocked myself. I'm in my fifties. What if he misunderstood and thought I was in love with him? We've both lost spouses and our dear, but unlikely, friendship is based on mutual loss, a shared interest in writing, and his role as my mentor. I needn't have worried; he understood. We treasure each other's friendship. I write letters, he e-mails. We've sent each other books we thought the other might like. We don't see each other very often, but when we do, we express our feelings, intimatelyunderstanding just how short life is. If you feel it, say it. Don't carry around the regret of words unsaid.
Contributors: Mary Potter Kenyon from Mary Potter Kenyon
#4 Tell them you like to spend time with them
Just telling a friend you love them is not the most effective way to really make them feel that they are important for you. What is better is making them feel that you really value their company. Tell them that you enjoy spending time with them. If you don’t see them often, tell them you wish you could see them more often, and make sure to get in touch with them as soon as you are available. That will make them clearly understand that they are important for you. My best friend know that I love them because I make sure to see them as soon as I’m available. This speaks louder than words.
Contributors: Jack Vittelli from Road To Solidity
#5 Token of appreciation
Another thing you can do is buy your best friends gifts as a token of appreciation. It doesn't have to be too expensive, but make it meaningful.Thoughtful gifts can include something as simple as a custom phone casewith a picture of both of you guys next to each other with a meaningful quote.
Contributors: Dresean from KiwiSearches
#6 Make the time
Friendships take time and effort. As a mother raising eight children, I didn't have the time or the inclination to cultivate many friends. Now, I treasure them. One friend in particular, my co-author for Mary & Me: A Lasting Link Through Ink, was consistently there for me when I was unexpectedly widowed in 2012. She traveled once a month to take me out to lunch and listen, really listen, to my laments. Not only do we keep in touch with handwritten letters and cards, which is a very tangible way to show that we care, but we make sure to schedule personal visits, no matter how busy our lives get.
Contributors: Mary Potter Kenyon from Mary Potter Kenyon
#7 Celebrate each other’s successes and milestones
There's no room for jealousy or envy in friendships. If we truly love each other, we will celebrate the successes and milestones in each other's lives. A greeting card, a little gift, hosting a celebratory party; these are all ways of saying I'm proud of you.
Contributors: Mary Potter Kenyon from Mary Potter Kenyon
#8 Make sure you’re both on the same page about your relationship
If this is a great friend, just tell him or her all the nice things you think about them. You don’t have to say the words “I love you” – just say “I’m so glad you’re my friend.” If, on the other hand, you have feelings for this friend, and want to change the nature of your relationship from friends to lovers, it’s a little more complicated. If you want to turn a friendship into a full-on relationship, and you're serious about it, then you need to talk about it. Your friendship will be altered forever when you have sex for the first time. You have things to lose here, and things to gain. Make sure you’re both on the same page about your relationship. You can start by saying, “I’m developing some feelings for you beyond friendship, and I want to know how you feel about it.”If you're thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple.
Contributors: Tina B. Tessina, PhD, (aka "Dr. Romance") psychotherapist and author of Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today
#9 Communicate
So you’ve developed feelings for your best friend and you’re not quite sure how to approach it. The good news is… they’re your best friend. You know them well and understand how they handle things. They’re also going to care about you in one way or another. If they want to remain friends, they’re going to be gentle about it... Obviously, you need to have a conversation with them at some point. Be sure to pick a quiet location away from others so they don’t feel pressured. What you should be aiming for here is honest, open and relaxed discussion.
To mitigate some of the risk here you should test the waters. Try flirting with them a little, increase the physical contact and see how they respond. You don’t want to go overboard but you do want to see how they respond when you step slightly outside of the friend zone. It can also act as a subtle precursor to the conversation. If they start to see you’re developing feelings for them, they’re not going to be blindsided by theconversation. Go ahead and give it a try -- there’s only one way to know if they feel the same way!
Contributors: James Anderson from BeyondAges
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