Understanding Different Meanings For Different People (1/12)

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A successful reconciliation may not mean the same to all parties. We may envision lots of togetherness, involvement in day-to-day life, and one big happy family. Someone else may see reconciling as a couple of holiday visits per year and a birthday card or bouquet. Forethought and honesty about what reconciliation means are important caveats for success.

Contributor: Sheri McGregor, M.A. at Done With The Crying and rejected parents

Written by James Metcalfe


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  1. I’ve often considered how I would respond if my son made contact. It’s been a year now, I know he’s OK (from LinkedIn and his wife’s Facebook page) and I think he’s happier without me. I’m comfortable with that. I’m reconciled with myself.

  2. Other people/researchers/writers/true professionals have been more helpful to me. If you are experiencing estrangement from one of your children please look elsewhere for support and much more helpful info. Love to all!

    • What other people/researchers/writers could you recommend? I have read 4 books on estrangement. My next step is to find a support group, therapist, etc.. to make sure I’m headed in the right healing direction. Thanks for any advise you can offer.

  3. I have 3 children. And 13 grand its been 4 years since I seen 1 of my girls family. The other. Girl seen once. At church she lives 5 hrs from me. My son involves me but I feel out of place if I say something. Its wrong, I left their dad in 04

  4. I do not have a relationship with either daughters, their choice. I have had to come to terms with the fact that I cannot change the way others behave or perceive things. It is sad, as it is a loss for all involved. I send them love & move fwd.

  5. I post supportive comments on fb (the only way to contact my son through his new wife) but I hear nothing from him. I don’t know what to say to him because I tried to very gently contact him and he hasn’t responded at all. I feel hopeless.

  6. I do not have a relationship with my two daughters, one daughter has my three grand-children. I am unable to change how my daughters think although the one with the grand-children also has bi-polar it got to the point everything I said was wrong.

  7. As a single mother I had a wonderful relationship with my son until his girlfriend came along and brought toxicity into our world. She is estranged from her own parents when she was 16 years and has now caused my son to estranged from me .
    I believe from her behaviour she is a convert narcissist!

    • Same thing happened to me. My daughter and I had a close relationship for 20 years, until she married an insecure man who hated his mother. His own problems caused him to take his own life ten years ago. But there is too much water under the bridge.

      • Sometimes I wish my daughter’s husband’s recklessness and anger issues would take him out of the picture, but maybe his kids love him. His dad is a drunk, literally on Skid Row (He’s the only decent person in the family.) His mom is clinically psycho

        • but she gets to babysit when her husband isn’t too drunk and violent … they came to our house and never spoke, walked right past my father’s outstretched hand, picked at and complained to each other about the food my daughter fixed …I’m at a loss

    • Oh my..this site brought me here for exactly the same reason…my son lived with me in peace, for 27 years, while I paid for his schooling for 7 years. I too a single mother , worked myself two jobs to ensure he had a wonderful education and a home.

  8. I think I need a script or something. I’m used to being loved–by everyone not within the third degree akin to me. My parents and my sister, I understood. My child, I can’t fathom.

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