It’s unfair to put your unhappiness, disinterest, or what have you on anyone else. The better way to take accountability and explain the breakup to your ex is by saying, “I just need someone who’s as organized/anal retentive/neat as I am” versus “I can’t be with you because you’re messy.” It’s a silly example but the difference is there.
If you say you’re breaking up with someone because they’re a slob, they might get overly hung up on “fixing” that side of themselves when the reality is there are plenty of potential suitors out there that wouldn’t care whether you’re a slob or not. It’s important that during a breakup you don’t blame the other person for what you aren’t getting and have discovered you need in a relationship. It’s similar to the “it’s not you, it’s me” approach.
Contributor: Chelsea Leigh Trescott from Thank You Heartbreak