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9 Ultimatum-Like Steps To Define Your Situationship

Dating is hard. Searching for “the one” is harder. Romance is a thrilling yet complex journey, especially if you are stuck in a swamp called the “situationship.” These undefined relationships bring joy, but they can also leave us grappling for clarity about where we stand. Suppose you’re ready to give shape to your romantic journey. You’re brave. In that case, here are 9 empowering steps to help you finally define your situationship or get the f out of it.

Navigating Love in the Grey Zone

Situationships, a term that describes relationships falling between friendship and committed partnerships, are fishy. While initially appealing to some, being in a situationship can quickly become frustrating and draining.

The lack of clarity and commitment in situationships is one of the main reasons why being in it sucks. Unlike traditional relationships, where expectations are known and boundaries are set (ideally), situationships often leave folks uncertain about where they stand with their partner.

This ambiguity can lead to insecurity, anxiety, and emotional trauma – a whole package of “thanks-I-got-some-already-pls-no-more”. Without clear communication or shared goals for the future, partners may feel isolated or neglected. So let’s break the cycle.

What Are The 9 Steps To Take When Defining Your Situationship?

Self-Discovery, Duh

Before defining your situationship, take a moment for introspection. Look within. Understand what you truly desire in a relationship. What are your expectations and boundaries? Self-awareness is the cornerstone of clarity. Give yourself time to asses your feelings. It might turn out that you want to stay on in this arrangement or, heck, end the relationship.

Open, Honest Communication

Embark on a profound and meaningful heart-to-heart dialogue with your beloved partner, as this act can strengthen the bond between you two and bring you closer than ever before. Establishing a secure and non-judgmental environment where both of you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and emotions freely is essential. Rather than playing the blame game, focus on clearly articulating your intentions.

Use the smart tricks that are so popular right now. Begin your sentences with “I feel” rather than “you always”, thus avoiding triggering your partner’s fight, fright or flight syndrome.

By doing so, you will foster an atmosphere of trust, encouraging your partner to reciprocate. By engaging in this open conversation, both of you can explore uncharted territories within yourselves and gain deeper insights into each other’s perspectives, which is vital when looking at your relationship’s future.

Invite Intimacy

It feels scary, but any relationship does. Sharing a deeper part of yourself with your partner is a step that will help both of you understand if you feel comfortable enough to play the same “sex field”. Start by expressing your desires and fantasies openly. It would be a great moment to talk about things you need in bed or maybe introduce your lover to your sex toys that you previously kept hidden.

BTW, having them meet your vibrators shows your vulnerability and readiness to compromise. Adult toys, especially realistic ones, like, for example, the vibrating dildos that carries, can feel intimidating to some people because they might feel they are not enough for you and you’re trying to replace them. Address those fears head-on, explain that your sex toy box doesn’t change how you feel about them, and even more so – makes you eager to share these escapades with them. Remember to listen to their thoughts and feelings throughout the discussion actively.

Share Your Relationship Vision

Clearly articulate your expectations for whatever this is between you. Discuss your sentiments on commitment, exclusivity, and future prospects. Ensure your partner is on the same page.

Set a Timeline For Commitment

Setting a timeline isn’t about issuing an ultimatum; it’s a collaborative approach. It can help you and your partner stay accountable and motivated to make a decision. Choose a reasonable timeframe to determine the direction of your relationship.

Talk About Exclusivity And Boundaries

Have a candid conversation about exclusivity. Explore whether you both are open to seeing other people or prefer to be exclusive. Understanding each other’s boundaries and desires is fundamental to progress. Don’t forget to determine whether you both want to explore the possibility of a monogamous relationship, or maybe a polyamorous route feels more natural and comfortable.

Seek Professional Guidance

If you find dealing with your situationship formidable, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from a professional, such as a relationship counselor or therapist. They can provide a safe, neutral space to mediate discussions and navigate complex emotions.

Check If You’re On The Same Path

Take time to assess compatibility. Evaluate your shared values, long-term goals, and aspirations. Are they aligned? Here’s an approximate list of things to discuss:

  • What are your views on your living situation?
  • How open is your relationship going to be, if at all?
  • What is your stance on each other’s working situations?
  • Do you plan on sharing a budget and if so, how
  • Do you support each other’s kinks if there are any?
  • What are your views on marriage?
  • Are you considering having babies?
  • And so on.

A shared vision for the future is a solid foundation for a committed relationship.

It’s Decision Time

Once you’ve had open conversations, gathered information, and considered compatibility, it’s time to choose. Decide whether you want to continue the relationship, define it as exclusive, or part ways. It’s a decision that should honor your necessities and your partner’s.

Feel Empowerment in Love

Defining your situationship is a powerful step in your romantic journey. It’s about embracing clarity and taking charge of your love life. Ultimatums should be approached cautiously, but open communication, mutual understanding, and self-awareness can guide you toward a more well-defined and fulfilling connection. The path to love is unique for everyone, and your experiences are valid.

Remember, the biggest aspect of defining your situationship is that it aligns with your values and desires, empowering you to create the love life you desire.

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Written by Marcus Richards

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