Going through a deployment is uniquely stressful and confusing for the spouses who are left behind. Their spouseās job has an inherent risk of harm, communication is often inconsistent, and life back home feels so different. Their spouse hasnāt died, but the lack of presence and threat of danger makes it feel almost like a death. If you are looking for ways to comfort and support these people as their husband or wife is overseas, familiarize yourself with these pointers onĀ how to support military spouses during deployment.
Send a Card or Gift
Sending a card or gift is one of the many impactfulĀ ways to show your appreciation for military families. This is a good option if you donāt know the military spouse well. An affirming note from someone who notices their situation is typically welcome and goes a long way.
Donāt Avoid the Subject
Military spouses suffer the absence of their husband or wife for months, sometimes even years. Often, the worst thing to do isĀ notĀ talk about their spouseās absence. This confirms their absence even further, as if everyone who knew them doesnāt think about them now that theyāre out of sight. Donāt press them, but show that you remember their partner. Sometimes, reminiscing about past experiences shared with the deployed spouse can gift the spouse at home with a better sense of their companionās presence.
Validate Their Feelings, Experiences, and Pain
If youāre given access to someoneās emotions about the deployment, steward them well. Validate what theyāre feeling in this unprecedented time and acknowledge their daily pain. Try not to minimize their grief or fear or āfixā their feelingsāthis is an indication that what theyāre struggling through has been misunderstood.
Donāt Compare Your Experience to Theirs
One important way to validate them is by not comparing your experiences with theirs. Even if youāve spent time at home as a military spouse, inserting your trauma into a conversation deflects from what theyāre currently living through. And if you been in their shoes, relating their experience to your own shows them you donāt consider their uniquely painful time away from their spouse to be quite so unique.
Make Time to Be Present
AnotherĀ means of supporting military spouses during deploymentĀ is by making sure youāre present with them. Theyāve lost, for a time, someone who was constantly around them. Life apart is typically much quieter, so initiating plans with them can help take away that silence for a day.