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Divorced and in your 50s? How to get back into the Dating Game By Carmelia Ray

Photo by Esther Wiegardt on Unsplash
Photo by Esther Wiegardt on Unsplash

As a professional matchmaker and dating coach, I have been working with an increasing number of divorcees over 40, and many over 50 needing help with finding a compatible partner.  For divorcees who have been out of the dating scene for years, times have drastically changed. Although dating may seem daunting for a divorced person over 50, it has never been easier to get back into the dating game as a divorced single over 50.

In fact, according to an annual Match.com survey, “Singles In America” statistics are quite favourable for singles over 50. Here are some interesting facts about mature singles dating online:

  • Meeting online is the #1 place where singles meet
  • Single men (64) and women (66) are reporting to have the best sex over 60.
  • Meeting online is the #1 place where singles meet
  • Gen Xers are 129% more likely, and Boomers are 224% more likely than Millennials to have dated more than one person at a time. 

It’s all about the Photo

The population of divorced singles dating online is rapidly growing with many mature dating sites that are perfect for dating over 50. If you are considering online dating, you must lead with a recent, attractive and interesting photo of yourself. While working with some of my clients, I encourage them to have a professional photo shoot and work with a stylist or image consultant; making sure your wardrobe reflects your personality and interests is essential. Your primary photo should be a clear photo of your face or upper body wearing a smile, while your other two pictures should be of your full body in an action shot or natural lighting outdoors. Most people know a friend or family member with a smartphone who can help you capture your most flattering images. 

List down your hobbies and interests

Another critical step is to work on your current list of interests, important needs and wants in your ideal partner. Many newly divorced singles I’ve worked with struggle with knowing what they want, and what they offer because they’ve never taken the time to reflect on this before dating. Diving into dating when you’re not sure about what you want will lead to disappointment and wasted energy. You can learn a lot about yourself from your failed relationships, and likely have changed your preferences in partnership over the years. When you are preparing to date, you should know what qualities in a partner matter to you from a physical, emotional, spiritual and lifestyle perspective.  Other important considerations can be geography (long-distance), family, ethnicity and socio-economic compatibility. 

Leave the Past in the Past

It’s also essential for a divorced person over 50 to let go of any hurt, pain, resentments, worry or bitterness concerning their past relationships. Preparing to get back into the dating game means you can expect some rejection, and to strike out now and then. Dating is a process, and it’s imperative you don’t approach dating with pre-existing doubts, fears or worry of things not working out. A big complaint with many clients dating in this age group is meeting singles who seem to complain or hate on other singles for bad dating behaviour. Don’t paint the person you’re newly dating with the same brush you would have for your ex. Always start with a clean slate, free from judgement and anger. It is proven the Law of Attraction works, so you want to stay positive and hopeful throughout your dating journey.

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