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Subjects To Avoid Talking About On A First Date

First dates are a tricky field to navigate. There are so many things that can go wrong that are both in and out of your control. There are also a few subjects you should be avoiding talking about…

#1 Don’t discuss wanting to get married or have children

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Obviously, if you've been married and / or if you have children, these are going to betopics of discussion.  However, future marriage and reproductive goals arenot appropriate first-date conversation.

Contributors: Carole Brody Fleet from Carole Fleet Speaker

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#2 Don’t discuss illnesses / ailments / family issues

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You don't want to lead with what might be considered extremely personal problems.  For example, if you or a loved one has overcome a serious illness, that fantastic and definitely cause for celebration - but it's not a suitable first-date topic. The same thing goes for any kind of issues within your family (estate battles, divorce battles, custody battles, difficulty with children, finances, family estrangements, an unfortunate childhood, etc.). These are definitely discussions that you should have once a relationship establishes; however, leading with these kinds of disclosures on a first date screams: Way too much information way too soon.

Contributors: Carole Brody Fleet from Carole Fleet Speaker

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#3 Don’t discuss personal finances

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Talking about the current state of the national or world economy is fine and certainly a timely subject.  However, discussing personal financial situations should remain off limits.

Contributors: Carole Brody Fleet from Carole Fleet Speaker

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#4 Your relatives aren’t relative

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Avoid talking about your family on a first date. Sure, it's okay to give the highlights as in number of siblings and whether your folks are still married. But save the skeletons for date four, five or six. There's no need to tell a potential keeper that your grandma is an internationally renowned sex therapist or that your olderbrother makes a living as an amateur boxer. Those kind of details might scare off a serious contender.

Contributors: Dylann Crush from Dylann Crush

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#5 Keep your fetishes to yourself

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At least for now. A potential partner might find it charming that you have a soft spot in your heart for trees but perhaps keep the fact that you're a verified dendrophiliac to yourself...at least until you get a sense of how big a tree hugger your date might be. (Did you look up dendrophiliac? Did you?)

Contributors: Dylann Crush from Dylann Crush

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#6 Your Ex

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Never talk about your ex on a first date. They’re an ex for a reason, leave them in the past. You’re trying to start something new and bringing up your ex will only concern your date. Although you may not have feelings for them any longer, your date may think otherwise. You might also come off as spiteful if you constantly bring up how awful your ex was to you. Steer clear of any conversation involving your exes if you’re aiming for a second date.

Contributors: Kelli Tellier from WhatsYourPrice

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#7 Politics

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Politics are an important discussion to have in any new relationship, but you shouldn’t bring it up on the first date. Usually when someone strongly believes in something their opinion can’t be swayed either way so there’s no point in bringing up political talk only to ruin the date. Chances are you won’t agree on everything so it’s best to avoid these types of controversial topics during your first date.

Contributors: Kelli Tellier from WhatsYourPrice

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#8 Don’t Talk About All Your Previous Relationships

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Or any of them. Or why they ended. Or the therapy you’re still in with your ex-wife, because she is a crazy psycho bitch, but she is the mother of your children, and it’s worth three days a week to try… Or how your ex-bf is a really cool guy, and an amazing musician, but he hasn't found himself, and you're really looking for more... Oh. Uh. Nevermind. Just don’t talk about your exes on a first date. Y’all should be having fun getting to know each other, not dragging out unfortunate stories of your relationship slip-ups.

Contributors: Heather Claus from Dating Kinky

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#9 Talking about the future too soon

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A great way to scare off a quality man on the first date is if you tell him you want to be married with kids in the near, near future. Talk about pressure! While it’s not wrong to want to get married and have kids (and you two might be on the same page there), telling him that off the bat can give the impression of neediness and desperation.

Contributors: Holly Shaftel from Holly Shaftel, LLC

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#10 Asking Too Many Questions

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You don’t want to be an interrogator; instead, you want to be a fun date that he’ll remember, a fun date that’ll lead to a second date, and a third date, and so on. Are you attracted to each other? Were the conversations easy? Answer those questions first to lay the foundation. Then once he likes you, you can start talking about the heavy stuff.

Contributors: Holly Shaftel from Holly Shaftel, LLC

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#11 Money and Life Changing Decisions

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Refrain from asking questions about how much money your date makes and about future life-changing decisions (such as buying a house, getting married, and having kids). This puts your date on the spot and could ultimately lead to a dealbreaker. Understand that people’s relationship wants and needs change over time, especially when they find love. Your date may not want kids now, but six or so months down the line, he/she may change his/her mind.

Contributors: Justin Lavelle from PeopleLooker

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#12 Religion

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The old adage says that you should always stay away from religion and politics. In this day and age, that’s probably more true than it’s ever been before. There are certain topics that should be off limits until you know someone fairly well. Pontificating your views on touchy issues can lead quickly to a negative impression. Assuming things about the person you’re meeting is also fraught.

Contributors: Justin Lavelle from PeopleLooker

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