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How Can I Be More Independent And Self-Reliant? 14 Simple Steps

Photo by Jack Cain on Unsplash

Although it can be very rewarding to be in a partnership, it can lead to co-dependence and if that partnership ends you may end up feeling isolated, insecure and lost. Here are 14 simple steps and tips from industry experts on how to be more independent and self-reliant.

#1 Find a healthy and successful way of managing negative feelings

When we first launched the business it was easy to fall into a low state if something didn't go our way, or if a client was rude, or we were rejected and so on. What helped me to be more self-reliant was to know that no matter what happens, I can react to a situation with calm and respect. Therefore, by finding a way to manage negative feelings, whether that's taking a deep breath, leaving your computer for 30 minutes, thinking of positive things etc – you are able to rely on yourself much more.

Contributors: Antonio Wedral from Statement Digital

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#2 Live within your means

This seems so obvious & it is, however, many Americans neglect this. We hear this term a lot, but it is a huge part of self reliance. If we are spending more money than we make, then we aren't being self reliant. We will need to rely on someone else to make up that difference in income.

Contributors: Joyce Blue from Empowering You Life Enhancement Coaching LLC

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#3 Pay your bills on time

Paying your bills on time is something many people struggle with. If this is hard for you to do, then pay the bill as soon as it comes or set up a reminder in your phone or leave the bill someplace where you will see it daily until it's paid. Paying your bills on time is 38% of your all important credit score.

Contributors: Joyce Blue from Empowering You Life Enhancement Coaching LLC

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#4 Learn new things

Our ability to help ourselves often times comes from our knowledge of what to do in certain situations that we come across in life. How to check the oil in your own car or do a safety inspection before a road trip. How to use a screwdriver, drill or other simple home repair equipment can be very helpful & save money on simple home & car bills.

Contributors: Joyce Blue from Empowering You Life Enhancement Coaching LLC

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#5 Have a healthy body because you’ll have a healthy mind

I started regularly working out at the gym and joined a tennis club. Not only did this help to meet others and let off steam, but by working on my body and feeling good physically I was able to concentrate better during the day, control emotions better and feel more confident when going into meetings/pitches and so on. Therefore by working on my health, I was able to become more confidently reliant on my abilities to do a good job at growing my business.

Contributors: Antonio Wedral from Statement Digital

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#6 Get to know your inner child

If you rely a lot on other people, you may not have a lot of trust in yourself to handle certain situations. You may have a wounded inner child who doesn't feel capable or worthy of doing or even trying certain things. Luckily, you can choose to meet and befriend your inner child now, and become a loving parent to yourself. By nurturing your child and being there for him or her, you can build the relationship of trust within yourself which will serve as a foundation for relying on yourself more.

Contributors: Jaime Pfeffer from Jaime Pfeffer LLC

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#7 Discover your personality

Discover your personality and its strengths, and use them to build up your self-reliance. For example, if you're an introvert, I wouldn't suggest the goal of making 15 new friends in the next week to increase your energy. Although this would be a great goal for an extrovert, introverts are actually drained by large crowds so this would deplete their energy even more.

A better suggestion for an introvert would be to set a goal to say no to extraneous requests for networking and socializing after work and take time for oneself instead. Recognizing that it's okay to say no and to do something on your own, especially if it's aligned with your personality, is a powerful and effective way to become more self-reliant.

Contributors: Jaime Pfeffer from Jaime Pfeffer LLC

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#8 Examine your fears

If you're not self-reliant, you're likely dependent on someone or something else. When we are dependent on others, we have confidence in them more than ourselves. This is often due to not believing in ourselves, which usually come from fears. Asking yourself certain questions can help you uncover your fears. Examples include:

  1. Why don't I rely on myself more?
  2. What am I afraid of happening if I were to rely on myself?
  3. Do I have a limiting belief that I am incapable of taking care of myself?
  4. If so, where did this belief originate?
  5. Is this belief really true, or have there been circumstances in my life where I've proven that it's not true?

Contributors: Jaime Pfeffer from Jaime Pfeffer LLC

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#9 Raise your self-esteem

There's a reason preschool teachers assign jobs like line leader, snack helper, or paper-passer to students: it builds self-esteem. If you grew up in a situation where everything was done for you, you probably have a low self-esteem, low self-confidence and rely on others a lot. You can break this pattern by doing activities that raise your self-esteem: trying new things, putting yourself out there, and becoming more resilient.

Contributors: Jaime Pfeffer from Jaime Pfeffer LLC

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#10 Increase your confidence

If you don't rely on yourself, you likely don't have a lot of confidence in yourself. You can build your confidence by trying new things, making progress in them, failing and becoming more resilient. You can also become more confident through the use of positive affirmations, mirrorwork (affirmations said in front of a mirror), walking and talking confidently, looking people in the eye, and becoming comfortable in your own skin.

Contributors: Jaime Pfeffer from Jaime Pfeffer LLC

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#11 Use positive affirmations

It's amazing just how much the words we think or say affect us. And if we think we're incapable of taking care of ourselves, we likely believe it, too. Luckily, positive affirmations can be used to turn around almost any limiting belief we have. Examples for self-reliance could include:

I can handle whatever comes my way! It's easy to rely on myself or I trust myself to always be there for me.

Contributors: Jaime Pfeffer from Jaime Pfeffer LLC

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#12 Identify Areas You Are Weak In And Work On Them

Are you bad at managing your money? The internet is full of free tips and tricks on managing your finances. Are you out of shape? It's time to start taking your health and fitness seriously.  Being healthy is an essential part of being self-reliant.

Contributors: Caleb Backe from Maple Holistics

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#13 Get Organized Or Find A System That Works For You

I know not everyone is the organized type, but everyone needs some basic level organizational skill in order to stay on top of all adult responsibilities. Make sure you have some sort of structure to your life. Have a calendar and know when you need to pay certain bills, go to the dentist, pay off loans. Not being on top of these things will cause you major problems in the long run.

Contributors: Caleb Backe from Maple Holistics

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#14 Make and Keep Promises To Yourself

Show yourself you can rely on yourself by saying you are going to do something and then actually doing it.

Contributors: Caleb Backe from Maple Holistics

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