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12 Best Books To Read On Conflict Management

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Conflict is an inevitable part of life today. How you react to conflict, however, is paramount to how successful you will be in both your personal and professional life. This being said, conflict management and resolution is a skill, and like every other skill, you can improve your ability to deal with conflict through practice and knowledge.

Here are the 12 best books to read on conflict management.

#1 Quiet the Rage by R W Burke

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Quiet the Rage helps readers understand how conflict works, how they themselves may actually be the source of the conflict they're experiencing in their lives, and most important, how to stop being that source.

Kirkus Reviews calls it, A compelling discussion of anger, conflict resolution, and self-improvement.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Richard Burke from Quiet The Rage and Coaching Conflict

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#2 The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute

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This is one of my favorite books on this topic. Its premise is that we unwittingly put others as well as ourselves in boxes based on our own needs/reactive behaviors, and when we do so, we automatically exacerbate whatever unhealthy dynamic exists. So, for example, if we think someone is acting superior, we put them in the Better Than box and ourselves in the Less Than box, and the cycle of those labels continues, as each party puts off and receives energy in the expected ways.. The book provides a narrative to illustrate the concepts and provides simple tools for how we can come from a peaceful heart and break this cycle.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Jennifer Davis from Jennifer Davis Coaching

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#3 The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

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This book, a fictional fable, outlines the positive and negative ways teams interact and engage in conflict both healthy and unhealthy. Chances are, businesses and employees will see a bit of themselves in each of the characters.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Keri Lindenmuth from KDG

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#4 DIY Conflict Resolution by Nance L Schick

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From the author:

In my book, I first ask readers to make Seven Choices, to help them open their minds and hearts to resolution:

  1. Forgive yourself for having conflicts
  2. Acknowledge yourself for taking any action to resolve any conflict
  3. Forgive the world for having and creating conflicts
  4. Free the emotions
  5. Clear your mind
  6. If you must make an assumption, assume you know nothing about anything
  7. Listen with your third ear, or your h-EAR-t

Once they have created a more open space for creative resolution, we take the Five Actions:

  • Action One: Define the Conflict Succinctly (E.g., _______ and I disagree about ______________)
  • Action Two: Identify the Interests (E.g., thoughts, beliefs, wants, needs, unmet expectations)
  • Action Three: Play with the Possibilities of Resolution
  • Action Four: Create the Future with a Specific, Measurable Action Plan
  • Action Five: Stay on PARR (Plan, Act, Revise, and Repeat) until you get the result you want

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Nance L. Schick from The Law Studio of Nance L. Schick

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#5 Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson

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This book could easily have been a pamphlet, but it provides a lot of great advice about how to notice what's happening and tools for helping discussions go smoothly while including everyone's opinions.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Michelle Glauser from Techtonica

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#6 Resolving Everyday Conflict by Ken Sande & Kevin Johnson

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The information is distilled down to essentials, quickly equipping readers with tools they need to bring peace to their relationships.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Derek R. Iannelli-Smith from Outsourced CIO, LLC

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#7 The Peacemaker by Ken Sande

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This is a comprehensive and practical theology for conflict resolution designed to bring about not only a cease-fire but also unity and harmony.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Derek R. Iannelli-Smith from Outsourced CIO, LLC

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#8 Changing the Conversation by Dana Caspersen

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This book is full of excellent information about the unhelpful things we tend to do during difficult conversations and how to choose a better path. I feel like I want to repeatedly study this book and encourage as many people as possible to read it. Also, the design of the book is simple and beautiful.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Michelle Glauser from Techtonica

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#9 Conflict without Casualties by Nate Regier

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Conflict without Casualties turns the view of conflict on its head: instead of trying to manage or minimize conflict, people need to use it as a source of energy that spurs innovation, trust, and increased engagement. Conflict without Casualties details how to do thatβ€”complete with access to a personal assessment and self-guided workbook.β€œ

Conflict at the most basic level is simply a gap between what we want and what we are experiencing at any given point in time,” said Nate Regier. β€œNegative conflict becomes drama, and it is costly to companies, teams, and relationships at all levels. Positive conflict, on the other hand, allows leaders to balance compassion and accountability to achieve great results.”

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Whitney Heins from Weaving Influence

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#10 Confronting Without Offending by Deborah Smith Pegues

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Where there are people, there are disagreements and misunderstandings. The author of 30 Days to Taming Your Tongue (more than 500,000 copies sold), Deborah Smith Pegues draws on principles, personal experience, and research to show how to approach difficult situations so relationships are strengthened rather than broken.

Meeting face-to-face to resolve an issue is difficult, but Pegues makes it easier by revealing how to avoid complications, sharing examples of good communication, and offering specific steps for dealing with conflicts.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Chantay Bridges from Real Estate Professional World Enterprise

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#11 Choose Your Attitude Change Your Life by Deborah Smith Pegues

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In Choose Your Attitude, Change Your Life, Deborah explores the root causes of 30 negative attitudes, their impact on your life and relationships, and how you can learn to think positively instead. As a result, she helps you recognize and conquer counterproductive behaviors, such as criticizing the choices others make, being inflexible, and being indifferent to the needs of others. Deborah’s handy guide uses practical strategies to point you toward the path to a better outlook on life, empowering you to display a positive mental attitude in every situation and leading to healthier relationships, personal growth, and the ability to handle life’ s challenges as never before.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Chantay Bridges from Real Estate Professional World Enterprise

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#12 Managing Conflict God’s Way by Deborah Smith Pegues

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Managing Conflict God's Way is an easy to read, biblically based primer on how to deal with conflicts and offenses in a direct but non-offensive manner. A refreshing, non-traditional approach to achieving unity keeps the reader turning the pages as the author puts forth the steps to an effective confrontation and gives sound advice for tailoring the encounter to the offender's personality. From the many cited examples of biblical conflicts and the lessons learned, the reader will find that he will be able to restore harmony to even the most troubled situations at home, work, and play.

Want to read more reviews of this book or buy it? Check out the links below:

Contributors: Chantay Bridges from Real Estate Professional World Enterprise

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