If a man has to read only one book on sex in his life, I would recommend this one.
The book is originally aimed at women. Its goal is to explain to women how arousal and orgasm works. But you know who really need information on female sexuality? Men!
Nagoski popularizes the dual control model of sexuality with a simple analogy. You have to read the book to get the subtleties, but in short, she compares the sexual response to a car. A car has two pedals: a brake pedal and a gas pedal. If you want to reach your destination (arousal and orgasm), you need to press the gas pedal. But if your brakes are activated, your car won’t move.
The problem is that most men have a sensible gas pedal and most women have sensible brakes. Therefore, we often think that to please our female partner, we need to press harder on the gas. The truth is, for most women, we need to relax the break and forget about the gas.
Although Come as You Are goal is to explain this to women, I think it’s still the most valuable book for a man who wants to become a better lover. While most sex books focus on the gas, this one will teach you how to relax the brakes.
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Contributors: Philippe Côté-Léger from Premature Ejaculation Help