Emma Radebaugh
Breaking up is hard to do, and sadly, sometimes love just isn’t enough. A strong relationship that can last a lifetime takes compatibility, trust, and an equal partnership. When it’s time to break up with someone you love, you’ll know by the following signs.
Thoughts of Leaving Consume You
Some say wanting to leave is reason enough to leave. That is probably true in many cases, but not always. However, if you can’t sleep because of the nagging feeling you should have broken up by now, or you’re distracted at work knowing you need to make that call, it’s a good sign it’s time to break up.
Your Needs Aren’t Met
Most of us need quality time with the one we love, kind and affirming words, trust and loyalty, space and encouragement to grow, and many other possible needs.
If there is a constant feeling in your life of unmet needs or the realization that you are doing everything to meet the other’s needs but it’s not reciprocated, then your relationship, although loving, isn’t fulfilling your needs and you’re simply settling.
Be careful not to confuse passion (or great sex) with love. That’s a need to be met indeed, but it doesn’t mean this person is the one to spend your life with if too many other needs aren’t met.
You Feel Obligated
After some time together, friends and family, possibly even children from a previous relationship have gotten involved. You feel guilty breaking up with someone whom you’ve allowed into the lives of people you care about; there’s a chance they have become attached with your partner and are going to feel disappointed.
That’s okay. Disappointment passes and those who care about you want to see you happy. Don’t stay because you feel stuck. That’s an unhealthy place and builds resentment.
There’s No Growth
With the right partner, the best version of yourself shines through. If it’s been a few years, and life seems to have spiraled downward rather than improved with your partner by your side, they aren’t the one for you.
Hard times come for sure. Still, there’s a difference between hard times and a lack of passion to further your goals and dreams. The right one for you is your muse, inspiring you to be all you can, and also your solid rock, making you feel safe when your world crumbles.
Waiting on Changes
Basic red flag 101, a long list of changes needed due to the fact that you are constantly hurt or concerned, are a danger sign. Run, don’t walk, if your hope hangs on waiting for your partner to fix multiple hurtful behaviors.
Break Up Gently
When it’s time to break up with someone you love, there are a few ideas to make the break up a bit easier. Not painless—for you’ll both have to go through the pain—but at least easier and more respectful.
- Choose a public setting
- Be honest and clear
- Answer any questions
- Say nothing hurtful.
- Cut off all communication for everyone’s sake
In conclusion, even when you love someone, they may not be the one, and letting them go might be best for both of you.
