Anna Maria Richards
There are a lot of things you can do to make your sex life as exciting as it once was, regardless of what problem you’re facing. Sexual health and well-being go hand in hand with physical, mental, and emotional health. Leading a healthy lifestyle, communicating with your partner, turning to self-help materials, trying new things, and simply trying to enjoy yourself can get you through this.
1. Identify and Target the Issue
Sometimes, the issue is fairly easy to identify, like a diagnosed health problem. There are self-help materials on the market for all kinds of problems. Choose a few reliable resources online or in a local bookstore and use them to get more information about the problem.
If it’s too hard to speak directly, underline parts you find interesting and show them to your partner.
2. Practice Touching
By touching each other and nothing else, people can restore physical intimacy without pressure. There are even special touching exercises, variations on which are offered by educational videos and books. Ask your partner to touch you the way they want to be touched. Ask if you’re doing it too gently or too vigorously.
3. Try Sex Toys
The internet is not only a valuable source of information, like in particular books, but also of other helpful items like sex toys, which can bring the spark back. Vibrators can help women discover new pleasurable sensations to share with their partners.
The G-spot is a spot of sensitive tissue located just inside the opening of the vagina. The right stimulation here can generate an amazing orgasm, especially coupled with clitoral stimulation.
During regular intercourse, the G-spot is rarely activated because it’s hard to reach. What’s more, manual stimulation is typically most effective when trying to stimulate it. This isn’t to say it’s impossible. The G-spot is stimulated in doggystyle position most easily.
To find the spot, you need to be sexually aroused. Rub the roof of the vagina with your finger as if you were beckoning someone. It’s best to be sitting or squatting.
Toys can help discover and stimulate this spot. For example, a two sided dildo will achieve twice the pleasure. It can help two women hit it at the same time, but heterosexual couples can use it as well.
Another issue toys can help with is loss of elasticity of the vaginal wall. This happens during menopause, when estrogen drops. Sexual activity can decelerate and even reverse this process. In lieu of intercourse, masturbation also works. It does so most effectively if you use a dildo or vibrator to help stretch the wall.
4. Use Lube
On that note, perimenopausal dryness can be treated with lubricant easily. Use gels and liquids generously to avoid pain during sex. This issue can lead to lowered libido and growing relationship problems if neglected.
5. Switch Things Up
A variety of different sexual positions can not only help resolve issues, but also makes lovemaking more interesting. If you’re always doing it in missionary position, try doggystyle or cowgirl for once. The former in particular will provide much needed stimulation to the G-spot.
6. Exercise
The healthiest behavior to improve your sex life involves practicing the right kind of physical activity. Physical arousal is directly connected to blood flow and endurance, so aerobic exercise and strength training are crucial.
Kegel exercises can help people of all genders improve their sexual fitness. These exercises target the pelvis. Contract the muscle you’d use to stop urinating and hold it for a few seconds, then release. You can do these exercises every day and as many times as you want.
7. Try to Relax
Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.
Don’t give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don’t give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.
8. Drink Moderately
One or two drinks can help you relax, but excessive drinking can make things worse. Alcohol depresses the central nervous system, inhibiting sexual reflex. In men, drinking too much alcohol increases estrogen production. In women, it disrupts sleep and causes hot flashes, issues they’re already struggling with in menopause. Both men and women suffer damage to the liver if they have drunk large amounts for an extensive period of time.
9. Watch Your Diet
Too much fatty food leads to obesity and high blood cholesterol, which are implicated in cardiovascular disease. Moreover, obesity can result in a poor body image and sluggishness. Losing weight often comes with the extra benefit of increased libido.
10. Embrace Adventure
It might be the right time to try having sex outdoors or at least somewhere other than the bedroom. Alternatively, watch an erotic film or read an erotic novel. Anything that makes you feel naughty can make sex better.
11. Embrace the Senses
Create an environment that’s appealing to the senses. Gentle music, the soft feel of silk, candlelight, the scent of flowers, the taste of juicy ripe fruit…when making love, put this sensual awareness into play.
If all Else Fails, Stop Dwelling on It!
We admit it; none of these might work. If you believe that might be the case, simply stop focusing on sex. Instead, shift your focus to building intimacy.
If you’ve tried a few things without success, agree to go without sex for a certain period of time. This will take the pressure off both of you. This isn’t to say you’ll stop being intimate: kissing and hugging are great ways to remain close. They reduce stress and help people get in the mood, fortifying the feeling of safety and affection.
