“He’s not at all comfortable about them, he’d be embarrassed. I take great pains to make sure this does not happen,” Miranda Brie said, as she described what it would be like if her partner found her hidden sex toys.
But Brie isn’t the only woman who keeps this “dirty little secret.” One of the world’s top online sex toy retailers, TooTimid.com, surveyed over 1,000 females to discover over 54% of women hide sex toys from their partner.
“I’ve never showed him my toys. Some things you don’t want to share,” Joan Susan explained.
Susan said, “I like using [sex toys] on my own cuz I know what I like. I don’t like having to explain to him what I like.”
Sex toys are an amazing way to intensify your love making and masturbation sessions, but still, 1 in every 2 women are hiding them from their partner! Sex toys are never meant to be a replacement, but an enhancement in couple’s sex lives. So why are half of the women in a relationship lying to their partner about their sexual desires and expectations?
“What intimidates me most is that even though we’ve been together for 6 years coming up, I still get embarrassed when we do certain things,” Jossie Hope explained.
“I know a lot of people can feel insecure when toys are brought into the picture, they feel like they aren’t good enough to please their partner. With me, I hid it because I can’t really orgasm well without clitoral vibrations. So even though penetration felt really good, I wasn’t being satisfied and I was too insecure to talk about it. I’m sure other women can feel the same way. You almost feel “broken” because you look at porn and these women can orgasm from penetration, but you can’t. And it’s something I wasn’t comfortable talking about. I’m still this way but I’m more comfortable with my partner to talk about it and let him play with my toys with me.” Hope said.
If sex toys are new to you they can definitely come off as intimidating, which is understandable and that’s why many stores offer beginner toys. But in the long run, adult novelties don’t take away from the fun in sex, they increase it! If anything, they bring more spontaneity and a thrilling experience to the bedroom (or kitchen table, wherever.) They weren’t created to be an intrusion; sex toys are brought into play to make sure everyone is receiving the sex and pleasure they desire.
While discovering 1 in every 2 women are hiding their sex toys, it revealed some believe you shouldn’t need a sex toy, toys are unnatural additions to sex, you will become dependent on them, a sex toy replaces the real thing, or toys desensitize you and make you not as sensitive to real touch. Which yes, no couple NEEDS a sex toy, they are optional and are not required to perform intercourse. However, wanting to increase arousal and climax during sex should be something every couple WANTS.
“He knew I had them but didn’t want to know that I used them and there was no way he would have used them with me,” Meridith Heilm said.
There’s a number of reasons why you might want to bring sex toys into the bedroom with your partner, including masturbatory aids, clitoral stimulation during intercourse, to aid Erectile Dysfunction, for couple arousal, foreplay aids, oral sex aids, and to spice up sex in general! Sex toys can also give both partners the opportunity to fulfill some of their most erotic fantasies!
Not to mention, upwards of 85% of all women need clitoral stimulation to climax, and a sex toy can provide that sexual stimulation in a more efficient manner; leaving everyone happy, because the more orgasms the woman has, the better it feels for her partner! The use of sex toys can help bring sex back to the forefront of a relationship, instead of fading into the background.
Christy Bree used to hide her sex toys, “But now I have a better partner,” she stated. “With my ex, I hid a very simple basic vibrator. It wasn’t even phallic in shape, and I only used it to vibe my clit. But I was anxious about sharing it with him. Then he found it and immediately wanted me to get rid of it because it was ‘bigger’ than him.”
So if you find yourself hiding sex toys from your partner, start with honest communication and bring up how you’d like to get them to try it with you.
“He was afraid of sex toys but I just took it out and eased him through it. Now he loves them,” Krystal Collins proclaimed!
When you decide to bring it up to your partner, be sure you can describe clearly why you want to bring these sexual enhancement products into the bedroom. Explain why it will be fun and what it will do for them and for you! Go into detail about how this item won’t invade, but it will bring you closer. It’s key to make sure you discuss this openly and then by the end, have a mutual understanding of what the expectations are.
Let them know that a sex toy could never replace human interaction and remind them that the toy is just for fun and to experiment, it’s not because the sex is not good enough already. You just want both of you to have more intense, amazing orgasms! Even though there might be a toy involved, it’s still your partner delivering the pleasure! And if you really want to spice it up, describe how sexy a little foreplay show for them would be while you play with yourself. Who could say no to that sexy visual?! Encourage them to eventually jump in and help.
“If I have to hide it then I’m in the wrong relationship,” Betty Frederick said.
Above anything else, this conversation is about accomplishing a goal for the both of you: increase your sexual pleasure. If you’re on the other side of this, and your partner is coming to you and asking to use toys and you’re scared, start to think about your fears. Are they irrational and unfounded or are they grounded? Do you trust your partner? Do you want to give them pleasure? What are you afraid will change the most?
Partners who can talk about these fears and express their doubts, and also laugh and experiment together, are a strong couple! Try not to think, “If I have a partner, why would I need a sex toy?” Ask yourself, “Why haven’t we used these together?”
“They are something we use as a couple,” Heather Melanson said!
When you make the decision to willingly use sex toys with your partner, you’re showing them that you’re not intimidated by a toy, and that you genuinely care about your partner’s pleasure. Using these items in your playtime is very intimate! So don’t hold back anymore; talk about it together, shop together and then have mind-blowing sex together, because at the end of the day you’re the one most responsible for your sexual pleasure, so make it happen ladies!
Referral Link: tootimid.com
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